“Would You Be Willing”

In the Beginning

As this is my first blog I am understandably a little long winded.  Many of you have asked me to share our story of how we got to Xai-Xai, Mozambique, Africa, from Austin, TX, USA.  So in a few words, here it is.  I’ll be brief in future blogs.

Our Journey to Xai-Xai

Having been in Africa for two months, we left the safety of our friends and the city of Maputo on a Sunday morning, traveling for the first time on our own in a developing foreign country to the city of Xai-Xai where  we didn’t know one person, didn’t know the language, and didn’t have a house where we would live or even a place where we would stay that night.  We were on our way to start a church where we had no leaders, no connections, no music, no bibles, and no way of getting the word out that we were there.  All we had with us were our children and six suitcases that contained most of everything we owned and a word we felt was from God.  The sense of adventure became very real.  Driving on the tattered road through fields of sugar cane, broken down cities, tall ant hills, tropical foliage of coconut, palm, cashew, mango, and marula trees, passing cars and trucks worn from being in a war torn land, and passing groups of people walking, playing, biking, standing and sitting along the narrow roadside, my knuckles were white from the grip I had on the steering wheel that day.  We had sold everything . . . . everything . . . .  in America to come to a land that God would show us, putting all that would be our future into His hands.

Would You Be Willing?

Ah, Xai-Xai.  God had moved on my heart right here only six months earlier when He asked if I would be willing to come and do this work.  

“Would I be WILLING?  Hmm, I don’ think so God.”

The intensity that gripped my heart that night in December of 2009 was similar to the night terrors that had haunted me as a child that left me wide awake, tight chested, breathing fast and heavy, and profusely sweating.  That night took me to the very core of my faith in God as I wondered, “Would I really be willing to leave all of my family, friends, things we have accumulated, church, and country?  Would I be willing to ask my wife to leave her profession of 20 years, all her friends, her family, her dreams, and the safety of Austin, TX to start a church on the other side of the world?  And what about our kids?  Would I be willing to rip them out of the nest of friends they had just become comfortable knowing and from the school that we had invested so much into knowing, helping, and where we had been seeing so much favor?  What of their grandparents who have no other grandkids to grow old with?”  

I heard the truth of my heart tell God, “No way” and suddenly realized that I was ashamed.  I had sung the songs in the safety of my church for years that now pounded my mind, “I Will Follow You”, “Lead Me”, “Take, Take, Take It All”  as my heart grew sick in wondering if I had lived a life that was a complete fake.  I had for all my life said I would go anywhere and do anything for God.  I had prayed and asked God to use me in any way that would benefit His Kingdom.  I had declared that my life was completely surrendered to Him for over 30 years.  And when it came down to it, I realized there was a big question mark over my head.  Interestingly enough, I didn’t sense that God was asking us to actually go to Africa.  He was simply asking if I would be willing, and in that willingness, I couldn’t say yes.  

Jacob was said to have wresteled with and angel.  I think I now know what that night was like for him.  I beat my pillow, screamed into my bed, cried tears until my head ached, tossed and turned over and over and over.  I wanted to know what it was like to walk in faith but had never mustered the courage to put myself in a place where faith was put to a test regularly.  When I finally got to the point where I could honestly say, “Yes God, I would be willing” the scene changed.  My prayer before that night was, “I want to do something big for your Kingdom.”  From that night my prayer changed to something like, “God, you asked if I would be willing and You and I both now know that I am.  So here am I God, send me.”

Prayer and Covering

So we took it to prayer.  Celebration Church had just entered into a season of 21 days of prayer and fasting and Pastors Joe and Lori Champion agreed to use this as a time to seek God’s wisdom on sending us to be the first international church plant campus of our growing church.

We love our pastors and desire to live a life filled with loyalty and commitment to the local church.  We entered into this season understanding that if God were to send us to Africa that it was not a work of our own, but an extension of the great things that were going on in Austin.  We have since seen missionaries come and go from this place and have seen that those who enter the mission field without a covering either don’t make it, or become offensive to the communities they serve.

Pastors Joe and Lori indeed felt also that God was sending us to Africa and we began our preparations to move in three months.

When You Know, You Just Know

We have come through many trials over the last eight months in Mozambique and I am thankful for that dark night of the soul where I wrestled with God for the very existence of my faith.  In the most challenging of times I go back to that night and find myself comforted, knowing that our future is secure because it is in His hands. 

In the short time we have been here we have seen God do so many miraculous things!  We saw an empty pot of rice miraculously be filled again with enough food to feed over 100 kids.  We have seen sick children, just moments away from death, be completely restored to health.  We have seen God surround us with leaders and give us favor with the government.  We have seen our children grow in their own faith, responsibility, and scholastic ability.  We have seen Celebration Church, Xai-Xai campus grow from a small gathering of six people on a hot Sunday afternoon to become a vibrant church in the community.

Sure there have been peaks and valleys just like there are in any life in any country.  The one thing we have NEVER done is question God. We have never wondered if we are supposed to be here or not.  When you know, you just know.  And in that knowing you can endure just about anything.

What about you?  Maybe you have sung the many songs I have sung, and perhaps you have prayed the prayers I have prayed asking God to do with you what He will.  When it comes to that moment and you sense the question, “Would you be willing to go?”, no matter where that “go” means, where does your heart take you?